To Hold You In These Arms
by Rose Colt
Summary: Blackwater song fic, one-shot. AH/AU. Read and review!


**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**A/N: I listened to Swell Season- In These Arms over and over as I wrote this. I recommend reading it with the story for the full affect. Really…take the time to youtube/itunes the song. It's well worth it.**

_**C, this is for you. It always has been. **_

***

"Jacob, it's time you come home." Billy murmured. It was hard to hear him; the connection was a bad one. Over three thousand miles and more than a few years.

"Son, please. She needs you."

"Billy, don't. Just don't." Jake sighed. "It's not me she needs. Sam's there." He had to swallow before continuing. The anger was still there. It was metallic tasting, and still fresh even after all this time.

"He'll take care of things."

"Sam's gone. Run off a few weeks ago with a girl from Makah."

Jake held back a curse as he thought of Uley bolting as soon as things got tough.

She deserved better.

"I don't know if I'm going to make it."

Neither men spoke, both having too much to say to fit it into the miles of land separating them.

"I'm sorry, Dad. Don't call back here."

***

Jake wasted another week before he decided it was time to head home. Back to the Reservation. It had been four years, six months and nine days since he had last set foot in La Push.

Four years, six months, and nine days since Samuel Uley asked Leah Clearwater to be his wife.

People talked about Jacob Black and the reason he left the tribe behind. They guessed it was because of the dreams of doing something more. But Jake dreamed about cars and women, one of which you can find just about anywhere. The other, well really he only dreamed about one woman. And as Sam staked ownership of her, the dreams became nightmares.

Four years, six months, and nine days since Jacob Black begged Leah Clearwater for a chance. At coffee, at love, at anything really.

***

When he arrived in La Push, he went straight to the little apartment he had once stood outside of as he watched the small diamond slide into place on Leah's left hand.

This time he stood outside and watched as the girl he loved, the woman who held his heart, lay curled on the couch. Face gaunt, body wracked with sobs, bright smile replaced by empty eyes and salty tears.

He busted through the door, not waiting for her to answer his pounding knocks.

And upon seeing him, she collapsed into his arms. They were strong and held her tight as she shook with grief.

"He's gone." She cried. "My baby's gone."

And Jake knew it wasn't Sam she was crying for, but the child she had always craved. The same child he had imagined sharing with her. All big brown eyes and a toothy grin.

He wanted to cry too, because he couldn't imagine an innocent child being dragged into their mess. If she loved him even half as much as he loved her, then the marriage couldn't have been a happy one.

He wanted to cry knowing that ultimately Sam had given her what she'd always wanted, a family. And he wanted to cry even worse because she had been alone for the past three weeks, no family at all. And he wasn't there.

So, he held her. And he rocked her gently as he murmured, "I know, honey. I know."

***

"Sam left." She whispered to him later that night as they lay together on her bed. Best friends together again after a long, painful journey.

Jake nodded in response.

"The day you came here, four years ago… I knew then. I knew then what I should've known at eighteen. What I should've known since we were kids." She sighed. "And maybe I always did."

"But you picked him."

"I didn't pick. He put a ring on my finger. Branding me… And when I went looking for you the next day, to tell you I was ready, Billy said you were gone."

He stared at her, her hands fiddling with the sheet as she made herself vulnerable to him. Leah Clearwater crying was one thing; Leah Clearwater admitting she had feelings was another.

So he grabbed her hands, and brought her body flush against his.

"It was another year before I told him yes, once I realized you weren't coming back… And I think he realized it too, because we were never happy like before."

They sat like that for a few minutes in silence; her body half on top of his, the warmth of each other's skin finally settling in and making them both feel at home again.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there, for everything. For the baby, for you."

And she leaned over, pressing her lips against his. It wasn't heated, and it wasn't raw. But their hearts were, and as he worshipped her body that night they could both feel the passion that had never been laid to rest. Their fingers spoke of hidden-away promises and their gasps told tales of a romance that would never be epic. It wouldn't be perfect, and no books would be written about it… but it would be strong and it would overcome.

***

As the sun came through the shades of Leah's window the next morning, and Jacob woke to the smell of forest and slow-burning fire he dug the ring out of his jeans pocket. Billy had given it to him when he was sixteen, the first time they talked about lust and love, and had told him that he would give it to the Clearwater girl someday.

So Jake sat, ring in hand, and waited. He softly rubbed the copper skin of her left hand, and silently prayed that when Leah awoke she would agree to be his. And she would put the ring on her finger, choosing to wear it for the rest of their lives.

***

**A/N: So, I don't know where this came from. It's different for me…maybe a little darker? One of my professor's has really been pushing me to my limits so I decided to try something new. Otherwise, I can't apologize enough for my absence from the FF community. I received a review today from MrsBlackWife for another one of my one-shots and you can all thank her for getting me motivated. It's been a long couple of months. It's strange how things can change so quickly, while other things take a lifetime to even come to be. I'm rambling… please read and review. Depending on how many reviews I get for this, I may be motivated to finish Use Somebody by the end of the month! **


End file.
